ReVamped Songs
by Wolfram-and-Hart-Sauron
Summary: A collection of songs rewritten to fit the Buffyverse.
1. Welcome To The Hellmouth

First up, a rewritting of "Welcome To The Jungle" by Guns N'Roses.

Welcome to the Hellmouth

It's all fun 'n' games

Things that go bump in the night

are sure glad you came

The Master's about to rise, so you better take heed

You better get outta here

Cause it's time to feed

In the Hellmouth

Welcome to the Hellmouth

Watch it bring you to your shun n,n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,n,,n,n,,n knees, knees

They wanna watch you bleed

Welcome to the Hellmouth

I gotta go and slay

Hunt them all down in the night

Get to class in the day

I'm not just a teenage girl

There's more than what you see

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Vamps better not mess with me

In the Hellmouth

Welcome to the Hellmouth

You'll see what I mean

When I'm dusting up the scene

Welcome to the Hellmouth

It gets weirder everyday

My boyfriend is a vampire

My best friend just turned gay

My human boyfriend left

I'll be with Spike eventually

But if an apocalypse needs stopping

Better put in a call to me

In the Hellmouth

Welcome to the Hellmouth

Watch it bring you to your shun n,n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,n,,n,n,,n knees, knees

They wanna watch you bleed

And when you die you never

Ever gonna stay dead, so dead, so dead, so dead YEAH!

You know where you are

You're in the Hellmouth baby

You're gonna die

In the Hellmouth

Welcome to the Hellmouth

Watch it bring you to your shu n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,,n knees, knees

In the Hellmouth

Welcome to the Hellmouth

You'll see, you'll see what I mean

In the Hellmouth

Welcome to the Hellmouth

Watch it bring you to your shun n,n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,,n.n, knees, knees

In the Hellmouth

Welcome to the Hellmouth

Watch it bring you to your

It's gonna leave you dead!

Ha!


	2. This Is Sunnydale

Next up, the song "This Is Halloween" from The Nightmare Before Christmas gets a makeover.

Boys and girls of every age

Wouldn't you like to see something strange?

Come with us down this trail

This, our town of Sunnydale

This is Sunnydale, this is Sunnydale

Vampires rise in the dead of night

This is Sunnydale, a lot of people here are pale

So watch out or they might decide to have a bite

It's our town, everybody wail

In this town of Sunnydale

I am the Master under your street

Fruit punch mouth with big sharp teeth

I am Buffy's soulless ex-boyfriend

And I'm gonna kill her and all her friends

This is Sunnydale, this is Sunnydale

Sunnydale! Sunnydale! Sunnydale! Sunnydale!

In this town we call home

Everyone hail to the Slayer's song

In this town, don't we love it now?

Everybody's waiting for the next surprise

'Round that corner, man, hiding in the trash can

Something's waiting now to pounce, and how you'll --

Wail!

This is Sunnydale

Horns and fangs

A pointy tail

Aren't you scared?

Well, that's just fine

Slay you once, slay you twice

Take a chance and roll the dice

Saving the world in the dead of night

Everybody run, everybody bail

In our town of Sunnydale

I am the Mayor of this quaint old place

Becoming a snake with a smile on my face

We are the Gentlemen, we need hearts

I am Adam made of many different parts

I am the witch who's gonna roast the world

Because of that bastard killing my girl

This is Sunnydale, this is Sunnydale

Sunnydale! Sunnydale! Sunnydale! Sunnydale!

Sunnydale! Sunnydale!

Calling Big Bads everywhere

Go to the Hellmouth is you dare

But you won't live to tell the tale

In our town of Sunnydale

In this town

Don't we love it now?

Everyone's waiting for the next surprise

Buffy Summers is a demon's bummer

She's gonna hunt you down

Make you turn to dust

This is Sunnydale, everybody scream

Won't ya please make way for a very special gal

Our girl Buff is queen of killing stuff

Everyone hail to the Slayer Queen now

This is Sunnydale, this is Sunnydale

Sunnydale! Sunnydale! Sunnydale! Sunnydale!

In this town we call home

Everyone hail to the Slayer's song

La (la, la, la, la), la (la, la, la, la)

La (Sunnydale), la, la (Sunnydale)

La (la, la, la, la), la (la, la, la, la)

La (Sunnydale), la, la (Sunnydale)

La (la, la, la, la), la (la, la, la, la)

La (Sunnydale), la, la (Sunnydale)

La (la, la, la, la), la, la (la, la, la, la)

La (la, la, la, la), wheee


	3. Buffy Got Run Over By A Hellgod

Since the Holiday Season is upon us, it's time for a Christmas song parody. This is based on "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer"

Buffy got run over by a hellgod

Trying to save her sister, Christmas Eve

You can say there's no such thing as Glory

But as for me and Giles, we believe

She'd been told to kill her sister

And her answer was "hell no!"

She climbed up Glory's tower

But the portal opened and began to grow

Well, she dove into the portal

And that is when she died

We found her lying on the rubble

And the Scoobies one and all broke down and cried

Buffy got run over by a hellgod

Trying to save her sister, Christmas Eve

You can say there's no such thing as Glory

But as for me and Giles, we believe

Now we're all so proud of Giles

He's been fighting all of hell

He's been helping us kill vampires

But I think he's hurting more than he tells

It's not Christmas without Buffy

The Buffybot's been helping slay

But Willow's got something cooking

This one hundred forty seventh day

Buffy got run over by a hellgod

Trying to save her sister, Christmas Eve

You can say there's no such thing as Glory

But as for me and Giles, we believe

Now we got the urn on eBay

And Willow's killed a deer

Now let's go out to her grave sight

And see if we can't bring Buffy back here

Well the ritual worked wonders

And Buffy's no longer dead

But she seems really unhappy

A real depressing season lies ahead

Buffy got run over by a hellgod

Trying to save her sister, Christmas Eve

You can say there's no such thing as Glory

But as for me and Giles, we believe

Merry Christmas


	4. Jingle Buffy

To continue the Holiday theme, here's the classic "Jingle Bells" with a Buffy spin.

Dashing through the graves  
In an old cemetery  
Looking for vampires  
It's kind of scary

The dead that feed on blood  
Don't even have a prayer  
Cause pretty soon they'll run into  
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Oh, jingle bell  
Mouth of hell,  
Buffy saves the day  
With her Watcher, Xander  
And two witches who are gay 

Hey, jingle bells  
Caleb smells  
And it's safe to say   
There isn't a monster that Buffy cannot slay

There was the Master and  
Angelus, Spike and Dru,  
Then Faith and the Mayor  
Adam and Glory too

The Trio of the nerds  
Dark Willow and the First  
Buffy's kicked the asses of  
The best of the worst

Oh, jingle bell  
Mouth of hell,  
Buffy saves the day  
With her Watcher, Xander  
And two witches who are gay 

Hey, jingle bells  
Caleb smells  
And it's safe to say   
There isn't a monster that Buffy cannot slay


	5. Angelus Superstar

OK, this one is a conversation between the Senior Partners about Angel. It's set to the Pharisee's song "Jesus Must Die" from Andrew Lloyd Webber's _Jesus Christ Superstar_

Good Suvarta, the council waits for you.

The Senior Partners are assembled and here for you.

Ah gentlemen, you know why we are here.

We've not much time, and quite a problem here

_Angelus! Superstar!_

_Angelus! Superstar!_

_Angelus! Superstar!_

_Angelus! Superstar!_

Look at that brooding fool fighting in the street!

A trick or two with pop out stakes, and the vamps fall at his feet.

He is dangerous!

_Angelus Superstar!_

He is dangerous!

The fool kills all our clients and even employees

A evil fighting mission that's brought the office to its knees.

He is dangerous!

_Angelus Superstar!_

He is dangerous!

Look Suvarta, we have to hit him hard.

Quick Suvarta, go call the demonic guard.

No, wait!

We need a more permanent solution to our problem.

What then to do about this ensouled vampire?

Lover of Slayers and hero of fools.

No killings, no biting, just fighting with evil.

One thing I'll say for him, his hair is cool.

We dare not leave him to his own devices.

We've got to get him under our control.

What of the prophecy?

He fits the description

We've checked and rechecked it, just look at the scroll.

I see bad things arising.

The coming apocalypse hinges on this champ

I see blood and destruction,

Earth's elimination because of this vamp

Blood and destruction because of this vamp.

Because, because, because of this vamp.

Their elimination because of one vamp.

Because, because, because of this, 'cause of this, 'cause of this vamp.

What then to do about this Angel-mania?

Now how to we deal with a vampire king?

We must work to corrupt him to evil

Like we did with Faith with her Dark Slayer thing

What if he won't buy the deception?

The stakes we are gambling are frighteningly high!

We must crush him completely,

So if he can't be turned, this Angel must die.

For the sake of the Firm's plans, this Angel must die.

Must die, must die, this Angel must die.

So if he can't be turned, this Angel must die.

Must die, must die, this Angel must, Angel must, Angel must die!


End file.
